Red
by DaniiButNotBeck
Summary: "Loving him is like driving a new Maserati down a dead-end street: Faster than the wind, passionate as sin, ended so suddenly." This story is written in tandem with Joei Cassidy's story, The Other Side of Red. While in my opinion it doesn't matter which one you read first, it does matter you read both. Mine is written from Olivia's POV and hers is from Elliot's POV.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Red

Pairing: Elliot Stabler/Olivia Benson

Rating: K+

Author's Note: These characters aren't mine. If they were, things would be different, and I wouldn't have to worry about paying for college. They belong to Dick Wolf and NBC. Do I have that right? Anyways, the only things I own are almost a dozen textbooks, an empty box of old candy canes, and a laptop I got for my birthday.

Author's Note 2: This story is based on the song "Red" by Taylor Swift. I don't own her or the rights to this song.

* * *

Chapter 1

_Loving him is like driving a new Maserati down a dead-end street" Faster than the wind, passionate as sin, ended so suddenly. Loving him is like trying to change your mind once you're already flying through the free fall, like the colors in autumn so bright just before they lose it all._

She knew it was supposed to be a one-night thing. But, somehow, one night turned into one weekend which turned into one week. One week turned into one month. And then she woke up one morning and it was their first anniversary.

But that was where it ended.

She spent what should've been a nice, relaxing day for the both of them wandering aimlessly around her apartment. She couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, couldn't hold still. She tried to let herself cry, but the pain was too deep, too consuming.

Instead, she paced, she cleaned, she cooked. She did anything she possibly could to keep her mind off of him. But nothing truly worked; she just kept hearing his voice on the answering machine.

"Olivia, it's Elliot. I can't. I'm sorry."

When she finally settled into bed that night, memories of the two of them bombared every one of her senses.

_Remembering him comes in flashbacks and echoes. Tell myself it's time now, gotta let go. But moving on from him is impossible when I still see it all in my head burning red._

* * *

Author's Note: I know this first chapter wasn't really all that good. It gets better, I swear.


	2. Touching Him

Title: Red Chapter 2

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see chapter one.

Author's Note 2: I didn't mention it in the previous chapter, but the next few chapters (2, 3, and 4) are all memories; 5 through 9 will be current events.

.

* * *

Chapter 2: Touching Him

_Touching him was like realizing all you ever wanted was right there in front of you._

The first time they touched as something other than friends and coworkers – as lovers – she could feel this surge of electricity course through her fingertips, like the shock from touching metal after walking on a rug.

But it was strangely addicting.

Their first kiss had a similar effect on her. It was chaste, but she couldn't help how electrifying it was, how absolutely _right_ it felt.

She couldn't stop herself from locking her hands together behind his neck.

She couldn't – wouldn't – stop him when his hands finally found her hips and pulled her body tight against his.

Even if she wanted to, she couldn't stop the fire that felt like it was igniting in her veins every time he touched her.

But she didn't want to. In fact, she never wanted him to stop touching her. She never wanted the slightly drunk feeling his touch gave her to end.

She felt like she could spend forever locked in his embrace.

After all, touching him was like realizing all she ever wanted was right there in front of her.


	3. Memorizing Him

Title: Red Chapter 3

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see chapter one.

Author's Note 2: This will be the last update until this Saturday at the earliest. School's really hectic this week.

.

* * *

Chapter 3: Memorizing Him

_Memorizing him was as easy as knowing all the words to your old favorite song._

Lying in her bed the morning after their first night together, she traced patterns on his chest. Less than twenty-four hours into their relationship and she could already point out every freckle, birthmark, and scar on his body, even – especially – the one no one else (except maybe Kathy) knew about.

She could tell you about the freckle on his left earlobe.

She could accurately describe the cloud-shaped birthmark above his right knee.

She traced over the very faint, very thin scars on his chest from Stuckey.

She was sure she could pick out the sound of his light snoring in a group of hundreds.

Other things she learned over the course of their work partnership, like his unadulterated passion for justice, his dedication to everything her commits to, his temper, his stubbornness, his innate ability to just _know_ when something was wrong.

The sound of his different types of steps – angry, upset, excited, nervous, careful.

The smell of his light cologne – something with traces of citrus and green grass in the spring and summer, and something with a trace of cinnamon and woods in the fall and winter.

The way his blue eyes would shine when they broke a case, and the way they would darken when he was angry.

The way his hands would shake and how talkative he would get shortly before they executed a no-knock warrant.

She knows all these little details about him, she figures, because memorizing him was as easy as knowing all the words to her old favorite song.


	4. Fighting with Him

Title: Red Chapter 4

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see chapter one.

.

* * *

Chapter 4: Fighting with Him

_Fighting with him was like trying to solve a crossword and realizing there's no right answer._

He was so stubborn.

God, they were both so god damn stubborn.

Neither one could concede to the other, even when they knew they should.

Instead, they would sit and glare and make snide remarks at each other.

Until they combusted.

Until outright insults were thrown, past mistakes were brought up, not punches were held.

Until their voices were hoarse from screaming at each other.

Until their rage and anger turned into passion and lust.

And then she'd wake up in the morning, knowing that wasn't the way to solve anything, but knowing they'd never change. Because, deep down, they both knew the fighting never really meant anything. Neither of them meant the insults they flung so carelessly.

They both knew they'd look at each other just a few minutes later and everything would be forgiven.

Because fighting with him was like trying to solve a crossword and realizing there's no right answer.

* * *

.

Author's Note: Let me be honest, this is actually my least favorite chapter. Truthfully, I hate it. I just didn't feel like I got the rhythm going like the previous chapters. Anyways, let me know what you think. And don't forget to go read Joei Cassidy's story The Other Side of Red.


	5. Regretting Him

Title: Red Chapter 5

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see chapter one.

Author's Note 2: I'm not going to lie and tell you it gets better after this chapter. Because it doesn't. There's no happy ending for this story.

.

* * *

Chapter 5: Regretting Him

_Regretting him was like wishing you never found out that love could be that strong._

She sits in her bed late that night and watches the seconds tick by on the clock on her wall. She knows she should get up and find something to eat or brush her teeth or _something_, but she can't bring herself to.

Instead, she finds herself going over every memory, every touch, every kiss, every "I love you", and she finds herself regretting all of it, to the point where she's jumping out of bed and making a mad dash to the bathroom when she feels the bile in her throat.

She leans over the toilet, her stomach in knots, bile in her throat, absolutely hating this feeling – this all-consuming hatred and regret for the past year.

And she hates knowing that she regrets him almost as much as she loves him, because regretting him was like wishing she never found out that love could be that strong.


	6. The Last Time

Title: Red Chapter 6

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see chapter one.

Author's Note 2: Remember how I said there wouldn't be a happy ending? I lied.

Author's Note 3: This is the final chapter. It's also based on a different song, but it's also by Taylor Swift. The song is "The Last Time" and it features Gary Lightbody from Snow Patrol.

.

* * *

Chapter 6: The Last Time

_**You find yourself at my door just like all those times before. You wear your best apology, but I was there to watch you leave. And all the times I let you win, just for you to go again, disappear when you come back. Everything is better.**_

~5 months later~

The knocking on her apartment door is incessant, irritating. She glances up at the clock and sighs. 11:23pm. Whoever it is better have a damn good reason for disturbing her at this time of night…especially after the hellish week she's had.

She grabs her robe off the floor near the bottom of her bed, which is where she apparently left it over a week ago, and walks to the door, grumbling all the way.

She's not prepared for who she sees through the peephole and she's sure the gasp she lets out shows that.

_Elliot_.

Her knees are shaking, heart's racing, palms are sweating.

_Get yourself together, Benson_, she chastises herself. _You aren't some lovesick teenager. You're a grown woman, for God's sakes! Act like one._

She takes a deep, steadying breath and opens the door.

_My God, he looks even better than he did five months ago._

And he does. His jeans fit him just right, his shirt is tight enough to show he's been working out, he has the right amount of scruffy facial hair, and his eyes – God, those eyes – are even more mesmerizing than they were before.

_Get a grip, Benson._

_No._

_Why not?_

_I love him._

"Why are you here, Elliot?" she asks.

Apologies are written all over his face. She realizes then that there's no way she won't take him back if he asks.

And asks he does.

And she says yes, just like she knew she would.

After all, the bitterness and anger she felt toward him disappeared as soon as she saw his face through the peephole.

And she honestly wouldn't have it any other way.

* * *

Thank you all so much for reading! This will be my last EO for a while as I have a bunch of incomplete AO stories. But there will be more!


End file.
